The oil spill - the tipping point

One cannot be deeply responsive to the world without being saddened very often.
~ Erich Fromm

Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
~ Talmud (attributed)



There have been horrific images of the BP Gulf oil spill on TV and in the papers.
And yet I have not looked at them.
I just can't.
I cannot bring myself to be informed on this issue, to figure out how to talk to my kids about it, to find a way to do something meaningful in the face of this crisis.
I am sure that the damage is astounding, the figures staggering, the prognosis bleak.  And yet I doubt I would be surprised by it.

I am not one to stick my head in the sand. Usually.
But this time I just can't. I know the images will paralyze me. It will be my tipping point.
We created this spill with our demand for more and more oil. We are responsible.
I have decided that instead of facing this one head on, I will redouble my efforts to do what I can here. To drive less and bike or walk more. To reduce our use of plastics and eliminate disposables as much as we possibly can. To buy less, and to choose local and used over new and well travelled. To continue our efforts to make our home more energy efficient.  To spend, save and give ethically.

The work I can do. The images, details, and powerlessness....I just can't.

Talking with children about the Oil Spill

Planting trees

One of our family traditions is planting trees during earth week. It's something we have done every year for the last number of years and each year we plant more. This year we planted about 30 trees in the farmer's field not too far from our nature centre. The kids love to think about how their trees will look when they have their own kids. It provides a starting place to talk to them about not only curbing our use of paper, but also how long it takes for the trees to grow to the point that they can function as the lungs of our earth.

We've also been inspired by the story of Wangari Maathai about how tree planting is not only an environmental action. It can also be one of peace and hope.

Resources
Planting the trees of Kenya: the story of Wangari Maathai by Claire Nivola,
Wangari's trees of peace : a true story from Africa by Jeanette Winter,
We planted a tree by Diane Muldrow,
Grandpa and me on Tu B'Shevat by Marki Gold-Vukson,
The man who planted trees by Jean Giono, (also check out the National Film Board film production of this story).

Ecokids tree planting tips

Family Friendly Earth Week Activities

This week we gathered with a group of friends to do a park clean up. The older kids immersed themselves (literally) in cleaning up the creek. Younger kids helped in the park and along the trail. The park had been cleaned recently - we were the second sweep and we still ended up with 12 bags of garbage.

Our city makes it easy for us to participate in this program during Earth Week, providing bags, gloves and garbage pick up services - as well as a gift of reusable mugs for participants. However it would be relatively simple to do this on a smaller scale.

Last week a nearby neighbourhood group had organized their own clean up event at a beautiful creek not too far from our house. In addition to the clean up activities, the group had organized a pot luck snack, a barbeque and some kids' activities.

Resources

Youthnoise tips for organizing an event

Youth Can

As I dig deeper for opportunities for my children to expand their understanding of world issues, I am frankly blown away by the heroes that are all around us.

Last month I took Ryan to a program at a nearby high school. Michel Chikwanine, from Me to We, was speaking to the entire student population on their Youth Activism Day.  Students in the school, had organized a full day of programming which included not only the key speaker, but also workshops about volunteering, activism, youth engagement and world issues. The organizations involved ran the gamut from Amnesty International and Oxfam to Right to Play and to  Kiva loans and Katimavik and included workshops on song writing, journalism and social media to African drumming.

The initiative was student led and the school seemed to be a hotbed of social activism and youth engagement. Nishin Nathwani, another young man we've seen speak recently and his contemporaries were the organizing team and they had been congratulated by numerous adult activists, politicians and organizations for their efforts to make activism accessible and integrated into their school culture.

Michel's presentation was both funny and sad.  A former child soldier from the Democratic Republic of Congo he talked about his journey to Canada and his life here, his father and his activism. 

I sat in this school auditorium thinking back to my high school days and how unaware I was compared to the young people around me and how fascinating this group of kids are.

Resources:
Me to We

Please note Michel's video is for older children. Please preview before deciding whether to share with your children.

The boy who harnessed the wind

While working on our lego project about wind energy the kids and I were inspired by the young man in this youtube video.  The idea that he could take garbage and make something that could profoundly change the way of life for his village generated a lot of conversation about what we truly need, how we can get it and how not to be defeated by circumstance.


From Amazon:

Discarded motor parts, PVC pipe, and an old bicycle wheel may be junk to most people, but in the inspired hands of William Kamkwamba, they are instruments of opportunity. Growing up amid famine and poverty in rural Malawi, wind was one of the few abundant resources available, and the inventive fourteen-year-old saw its energy as a way to power his dreams. "With a windmill, we'd finally release ourselves from the troubles of darkness and hunger," he realized. "A windmill meant more than just power, it was freedom." Despite the biting jeers of village skeptics, young William devoted himself to borrowed textbooks and salvage yards in pursuit of a device that could produce an "electric wind." The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind is an inspiring story of an indomitable will that refused to bend to doubt or circumstance. When the world seemed to be against him, William Kamkwamba set out to change it.

Rainbows, hugs and pink balloons

One of my favourite magazines sends out weekly emails of stories they are featuring.
This one, about celebrating birthdays in simple and meaningful ways arrived in my inbox today. It's timely as our family heads into birthday season and I am listening closely to my kids real wishes and trying to drown out the idea that birthdays need to be equated with "buy, buy buy".  My friend Emma has a gift for creating special celebrations for her family birthdays,with hand madegifts and beautiful gestures.

I remember one year when he was about 4 Colin wanted a rainbow and a hug for Christmas. Santa obliged with a rainbow playsilk from the Waldorf school store, and a beautiful book about hugs. He could not have been happier.

Even among mindful parents I know we can use the reminder that what children need is for us to buy less and be with them more.

What is a birthday? It is an opportunity to celebrate the life and the development of a person. Do my children need to see a table covered with a pile of wrapped toys in order to know that their family and friends are delighted and honored that they share this lifetime with us? Somewhere in our consumer culture, we have confused “presents,” material items, with expressions of love and gratitude.

Growing Up Global

Run, don't walk, to your local bookstore and order this book. I'll wait here.

This book is exactly what I want this blog to be. Full of resources and ideas about how to expand our children's world even if we can't hop on a plane.

The book is written by a mother who wanted to bring more of the world to her daughter's lives. Starting with the idea that children can learn to be a friend to the whole human race, the book relates what friends would do as they get to know each other. Opening with a chapter called Be a Friend, the author Homa Sabet Tavangar reminds us of basic principles of how to make friends from different parts of the world - everything from remembering to separate a person from regional politics, to learning how to properly pronouce and use a new friend's name. There are lots of suggestions about how to expand your family's circle to include people you may not otherwise come in contact with.

Other chapers, entitled Greet Your Friend, Play, Go to School, Watch the World  - Read a Movie, and Break Bread give excellent suggestions for activities and resources to help your family beome immersed in other cultures through language, games, sports, food, stories, music, movies and education. The chapters Celebrate and What Do They Believe delve into religion and culture, always with the goal of finding common ground and teaching children how to connect in respectful, genuine ways. The last chapter called Sustain Your Friendship talks about ways to put education and connection into action to widen our circle through giving and service, using the Millenium Development Goals as the starting point. 

This book weaves through threads of respect and caring for both the children it aims to educate and the ideas, cultures and people it highlights. The ideas are easy to implement, the resources it recommends are excellent and incredibly thorough and applicable to a wide age range. It is an inspiring resource to help your children become citizens of the world.  

Crafts around the world

Over at Crafty Crow this month, there are posts for "travelling" using recipes and crafts. Lots of fun.

Encouraging Simplicity in Kids

There's a great blog post here about ways to encourage kids to live simply.  I particularly like the idea about changing our language from "I want" or "I need" to "I like", which implies less attachment and less urgency.

Yesterday we took the kids to the mall - which happens about once or twice a year. We wanted to participate in an engineering program which was supposed to have been held in the mall but was unfortunately cancelled. While we were there we needed to look for a new kettle, get birthday presents for Gran and a cousin.

We traipsed from one end of the mall to the other in search of a simple stove top kettle that was 1) under $100 and 2) not made in China of cheap materials. No luck. But we did have plenty of time to talk about why malls are laid out like they are, the effect of advertising and image, and why there were so many people in a mall on a beautiful Saturday morning (the parking lot was full!).

I think my kids get it. I think they understand the role of advertising in their lives, the impact of a consumer culture in the lives of others and the choices we make. But I fully admit that they are still young and easily protected from the pull of those forces which are so ingrained in our culture. The hard work on those issues is still in front of us.

Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood

What is enough?

A few years ago my children were involved in a program and came home with an Enough Pledge.  It was a wonderful tool to talk to kids about what is "enough", and how that looks different depending on where we live. We talked a lot about living simply so that we could share the earth's resources. The pledge is no longer stuck to our fridge, unfortunately and I haven't been able to find it again. Luckily there are lots of other great resources to spark a lot of conversation about what is enough, what is fair, what we have in common and what our cultures value. Each book highlights families from around the world with their homes, possessions and weekly food supplies.

What the World Eats or the Hungry Planet

Homes Around the World

Material World

My kids are fascinated by the differences in lifestyles around the world and are developing a growing awareness of the implications that has for our planet in creating peace and sustainability.

This month I'll be watching a movie called Consuming Kids with some girlfriends and exploring simplicity resources, how the call to consume affects so much of our lives, and how to teach our kids to think about what they truly need.

Volunteering as a family

Over time volunteering has become more and more important in our family and in my kids' education. As we have become more involved in our community and my kids have become more aware of the needs around them, and as they have gotten older, volunteering has naturally evolved into a regular family activity.


There are amazing benefits that come from volunteering.
~ It exposes kids to other ways of living. By dedicating their time to organizations which provide services to people with fewer economic resources, my kids have gained an appreciation that not everyone lives with all the amenities they have. Other volunteers talk to the kids about different passions, different choices and different viewpoints.
~ It also exposes them to potential mentors, other adults who care about the things they care about and who appreciate the efforts and connections my kids are making. This has become more important as my kids get older and I want them to connect with adults that model ways of living their values.
~ Volunteering gives my kids a sense of both power and accomplishment. They love to tell their grandmother about the number of food boxes packed, or trees planted, or hours spent with seniors. When faced with a challenge or a story about a problem, my kids initial reaction is now "How do we fix this? What can we do?" It is becoming part of their natural assumption that they have the responsibility, power and the opportunity to make a difference. I think this helps them not feel paralysed when something like the Haiti earthquake happens. They feel powerful to make a positive contribution.
~ It also connects them to their community in a variety of ways. The trees we plant become part of "our" forest. They check the food bank bins at the grocery store to see what we could donate and to make sure that no one has mistaken them for a garbage can. They clean up trails as we walk, put away garbage cans for the neighbours whose walks we shovel, pick up books off the floor at the children's library because they feel a sense of ownership and responsibility for these spaces.

We've been lucky in our community that there are a number of organizations which welcome the contributions of kids. Finding opportunities to volunteer with young kids can be a challenge. But you don't have to start with a structured organization to introduce your kids to the concept of giving back to your community. There are plenty of informal ways you can model that lifestyle for your kids:
~ organize a clean up day at a favourite park or trail and invite friends
~ shovel your elderly or busy neighbours walks,
~ have them help choose food and deliver it directly to the food bank
~ invite them to participate in the discussion about and the act of donating
~ stay after a meeting or church to clean up chairs or toys
~ take flowers or cookies or magazines to a senior's home to share

Other things our friends with younger families do:
~ volunteer for non-profit thrift stores to sort and count game and puzzle pieces,
~ deliver meals on wheels
~ become reading buddies at a neighbourhood group or school
~ participate in toy cleaning at toy libraries
~ help with the garden fresh box to sort and pack produce prior to delivery
~ helping with the general maintenance and clean up of community garden space
~ helping at CSAs (community supported agriculture) - maintenance, picking, packing, sorting etc


How do you make volunteering and integral family value?
~Nurture compassion in your children. Help them notice the situations others face and give them some ideas or opportunities to help.
~ Talk about your own volunteering and why it is important to you.
~ Acknowledge their efforts and ideas and find a way to help them make things happen. They may not be able to pull off the full scale concert that they are planning but perhaps they could busk at the farmer's market and donate their takings.
~ Create a culture of pitching in in your own family so that everyone does their part and supports each other.
~ Realize that we all want to feel needed and as though we have a purpose. Find ways to honour and support that in our children.

Ways to make volunteering a success:

~ Choose opportunities that your kids are passionate about, or which have a natural connection to your daily life so that your children are engaged from the get go.
~ Be realistic about what they can do and look for opportunities where they can succeed. A very busy 3 year old will probably do better helping to spot garbage on a hiking trail than in a situation which requires them to contain their energy and enthusiasm.
~ Prep your kids. Talk to them about the expectations for appropriate behaviour. Teach them that volunteering is a gift we give to others but also to ourselves and that the situation deserves our best efforts. One of the places we pack boxes has a wonderful way of talking with the children about packing with love and respect so that the recipients will feel our care when they open the boxes. While volunteering should be fun, it is not a time for boisterous play or to forget our purpose.
~ Keep it short. With younger kids, and even with older ones, an hour or so of focused effort is fantastic. Kids will leave enthusiastic about what they accomplished and willing to do more.
~ Celebrate! Help your kids understand what their efforts mean. Call the grandparents and share about the day's activities, write it down in the family journal, have ice cream for dessert.
~ Share the appreciation. While organizations love volunteers, remember to thank the organizations for allowing you the opportunity to serve together as a family and to model action for your children.

If not me, who? If not now, when?

I can't wait to see this in its entirety. It moves me to tears - just these five minutes.

Making Friends

I am regularly amazed and inspired by people I encounter who find ways to make a difference in their communities or in the broader world. Sarah of Dolly Donations is one of those people. She hit upon a wonderful idea to share some handmade love and found a way to make it work. I wish I remember how I came across her blog. As soon as I saw it, I knew I'd be making dolls for an orphanage in Haiti. And so I mentioned it to a few friends. And those friends inspired and overwhelmed  me with their willingness to create and to give.

This week, just about every time we saw friends, I was handed bags with small gifts of love, gently sewn into rag dolls. And this weekend we are sending out 37 dolls to the Abundant Ground Foundation who will deliver them to Haiti and into the hands of the children they were made for. The gifts are both humble and profound, made by children sitting on the laps of adults as they sew and stuff, or by mamas who tucked their own children into bed and then stitched together some hope and love for children living a world away. As I embroidered smiles on small brown faces to make friends for children I will never meet, I was thinking that what all of us really want is to make their world right, with a mother to tuck them in safely and sing them to sleep. The dolls are a small substitute for that love but hopefully they will bring some smiles and comfort into the world of those children. I think my friend Joanna said so it beautifully. 

I am not kidding myself that this will change very much in their hard lives. I know, though, that if my little ones ever found themselves without me there to care for them, I would be overcome with gratitude if another Mama, somewhere in the world, shared a little bit of her hand made love with my children.

The language of friendship is not words but meanings.
~ Henry David Thoreau

World Day of Social Justice

The child becomes largely what it is taught; hence we must watch what we teach it, and how we live before it.
~Jane Addams

In 2009 The UN declared February 20th World Day of Social Justice. Governments meeting at that Summit pledged to make poverty eradication, the goal of full employment and the fostering of social integration overriding objectives of development.

It's a huge topic to talk to kids about. What does it mean to have a fair society? What stands in the way of that? And most importantly what can we do about it? What do we need to learn about in order to make changes?

As a family one of the things we talk about our assumptions and how those influence what kinds of decisions we make. If we assume that everyone has the same access to education, to wages, to food, to safe places to live, then we may not make decisions that are inclusive and respectful. If we assume everyone experiences things like we do, as people who were born here and learned English as our first language, who look like most of the people in our city look and who have not had to learn about the culture here, then we might think the way people treat us is the way people treat all our friends and neighbours.

I find social justice tricky to talk about, in part because the term covers so much ground and in part because it challenges the kids assumptions that all people value each other regardless of colour, religion, socioeconomic status, language etc. But books always help and therese are a few we have enjoyed recently. And every time I close the cover of a book and look at my children I realize that my job is mostly to nuture the innate sense of justice and fairness and good that they were born with - to keep my own prejudices and assumptions and fears out of the way so that they can continue to grow in ways that will make all the difference.

The Magic Beads by Susan Nielsen-Fernlund
Those Shoes by Maribeth Boelts and illustrated by Noah Z. Jones
A child's garden: a story of hope by Michael Foreman,
Mrs. Katz and Tush by Patricia Polacco
The Name Jar by Yangsook Choi

(More at Teaching for Change)


More Resources

The Free Child Project

Cooperative Games for Social Change

Making Cents of Priviledge

And a little hard work for parents Part 1 and Part 2

Wherever there are beginners and experts, old and young, there is some kind of learning going on, some kind of teaching. We are all pupils and we are all teachers.
~ Gilbert Highet

Random acts of kindness

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
~ Leo Buscaglia

Before we were struck down by various sorts of illness in our house the last week or so, we had plans to do something each day before valentines day to show people we appreciate them. I am hoping that by Monday we will all be well again and able to take part in Random Acts of Kindness Week.
There is a long list of ideas to jumpstart our acts of kindness week.

On my list:
~ write thank you letters to a few organizations which do work I would like to support and recognize.
~ make some simple gestures to show appreciation to community members and neighbours.
~ become more aware of opportunities to practise kindness and to talk to my kids about it.

In doing some research I came across this article from the Seeds of Compassion website that is absolutely worth exploring.

Kindness can become its own motive. We are made kind by being kind.
~ Eric Hoffer

Resources
The Child's World of Kindness by Moncure, Jane Belk.
Kindness by Pryor, Kimberley Jane, 1962-
Paulie Pastrami achieves world peace by James Proimos,
For parents
Above All Be Kind by Zoe Weil
On kindness by Adam Phillips,



Kindness trumps greed: it asks for sharing. Kindness trumps fear: it calls forth gratefulness and love. Kindness trumps even stupidity, for with sharing and love, one learns.
~ Marc Estrin